Life of a Chalkstream: My Museum of Fly Fishing

Greetings!

The FT recently ran a piece on which economic theories should best reside in the Museum of the Economy, which got me thinking: what would I put in the Museum of Fly Fishing?

Catch & Kill

This might be something of a confession but I do not like to eat trout. Part of it emanates from the belief that it is probably best, if you have good staff, not to eat them. But, more truthfully, I was turned off trout in my teens when I worked at a fish farm that bred fish for the table. Back then the pellets, which are mostly soya these days, were made of rendered chicken. Not only did the fish food stink but a gutted fish smelt of rotting chicken. So, probably for many wrong reasons, I was an early adopter of catch and release.

Split cane rods

I am yet to see a tennis professional reaching for a wooden racquet or Rory McElroy pulling a hickory shafted club from his bag. Yes, I know there are some of you who are right now mentally leaping to the defence of your 6ft split cane wand. That is not a fishing rod; it is as much a rod as a fly swat is an elephant gun. You might cleave to the belief that 19th century rod technology is better than its 21st century counterpart but it simply is not.

Rod licence

Will you be thrown in jail for cycling without a licence? Will you be detained by enforcers in paramilitary style garb for canoeing licence free on public waterways? If you dangle a line off Brighton Pier will the long arm of the law deny you mackerel for tea? Enough said.

The fishing waistcoat/vest

These seem to be increasingly falling out of favour to be supplanted by bum bags, necklaces and some strange looking harnesses that look more like breast milking devices. With my guide hat on it will take a lot for me to give up the waistcoat: the storage possibilities are endless for spare rain jackets, glasses, first aid kits, phones, enough tippet to stretch to the Moon and, of course, the obligatory nine fly boxes. On my own I’ve got it down to a single lanyard and box, but that is a whole different story.

Barbed hooks

Goodbye. Forever. And hopefully, double and treble hooks.

New fly patterns

Enough! Do we really need any more fly patterns? I am pretty sure trout are not getting any smarter and Mother Nature is not producing any new insects. I know all you fly tyers have a God complex, always on the cusp of that never fail fly. But as the old fable reminds us, hell is a fish every cast.

If you have a nomination for the Museum of Fly Fishing post it on social media or email me. The best of the nominations reprised next time.

Justice delayed is justice denied

As you might imagine it took enormous restraint not to include the Environment Agency in my Museum; in fact, I had resolved not to mention the EA at all this week but events rather overtook my good intentions.

Firstly, I was kindly sent a report from the Swindon Advertiser that featured Clackers Brook. Unless you live on the south-eastern outskirts of Melksham you have probably never heard of Clackers Brook, an unremarkable two mile tributary of the Bristol Avon. However, it is very illustrative of what is happening in southern England where once backwater Wiltshire market towns such as Melksham are growing faster than the capacity of their outdated sewage systems that date back 50 years or more.

As a result, and almost inevitably due to underinvested infrastructure, Wessex Water faces three charges relating to incidents that allegedly took place in 2018 regarding unauthorised storm water and sewage discharges into Clackers Brook. Now all credit to the EA for pursuing this prosecution which, though clearly serious in the context of a small stream, must rate as one of the smaller incidents they have to deal with.

Clackers Brook

However, and I am sure this is not entirely the fault of the EA, how it is that this has taken five years to come court? Actually, it will end up being far more that five years as this is just the beginning of the process as Wessex Water did not enter a plea and is to appear in Swindon Magistrates Court on 9 October for a case management hearing. I am no expert of court procedures but that suggests to me, assuming Wessex Water does not plead guilty, that it will be well into 2024, or possibly 2025, before a fine is levied or the company exonerated.

And the problem most obviously with a time lag of six or seven years is that though the body corporate takes the rap the chances are that nobody much will care about what is effectively ancient history. Of course, ‘lessons will be learnt’ but in all likelihood those with fingerprints all over the crime will have long moved on.

Justice delayed is no justice at all as my friend at Upstream Dry Fly Howard Taylor will tell you whose relentless campaigning against diesel spills into the lower Test has finally registered one small victory, though no thanks to the EA as, in this instance, it is Fish Legal who this week announced they are bringing a private prosecution against Southern Water relating to diesel pollution entering the River Test from a Southern Water outfall at Nursling Industrial Estate near Southampton that has been allegedly happening since 2021.

It was not that the EA was unaware of this. Howard had garnered much local media coverage on radio and TV, plus Fish Legal had made the regulator aware back in March that they were stepping in to take their own private prosecution against Southern Water in the absence of any sign of effective EA regulatory action. You may read the Fish Legal press release here where they have helpfully compiled the list of shame that shows the Environment Agency annual prosecution total falling from 2,271 in 2018 to a barely credible 304 in 2022.

So, there you have it: a regulatory body tasked and financed by the taxpayer to prosecute wrongdoers that is failing to do so on an epic scale. Or when it does a justice system that grinds so slow that those same wrongdoers have long departed the scene of the crime by the time the prosecution is completed.

Does it have to be this way? Well, no. In 2018 the government created the Information Commissioner’s Office to deal with data breaches and cold calling who are able to turn around enforcements in under a year, handing out millions in fines, including £12.7m against Tik Tok. It can be done – it just takes political will and an acceptance that unacceptable behaviour by corporations is just that – unacceptable.

Dream fishing home for £13.5m

A mile of the River Itchen, a 10 bedroom mansion, squash court, swimming pool and three hole golf course all in 59 acres can be yours for £13.5m. Shawford Park, known by many of you as a regular Fishing Breaks beat for nearly 10 years, is up for sale with Savills.

If that is too rich for your tastes, Bransbury Mill with 1.25 miles on the River Dever is still on the books of Knight Frank at £5.95m.

Shawford Park

Orvis sale

Many people ask for advice on what outfit to buy as a first rod and reel. I don’t have any skin in the game but for reasons of history and a convenient local store we have always used Orvis outfits for the school at Nether Wallop Mill and guiding. I think it is fair to say I probably own more 5 wt. outfits than any other living person!

Anyway, I thought you would like to know our go-to outfit the 8.5ft 5 wt. Clearwater rod with a reel backing and floating weight forward line is on sale at the moment. Save £100 with Orvis

Special Offers update

Just a quick update on the current special offers:

Breach Farm – River Itchen

Half price for 2-4 Rods. Runs July 31-August 13. Was £135/Rod. Now £67.50/Rod.

Wimborne St Giles – River Allen

Two for the price of one. Runs July 17-31. Was £95/Rod. Now £47.50/Rod

Under 16’s go free

Call 01264 781988 or email for beat selection and advice

Graphic of the Week

Photo of the Week

We at Fishing Breaks are not all about trout all of the time. Our FDO (Fishing Diversity Officer) John Bailey proves the unlikely belief that there is life beyond trout with one of his recent guided days on the River Wye with five barbel, including this 10lb 4oz beauty that took 59 minutes to net and thirty plus chub.

For dates and details of John's guided days in Herefordshire, that feature some of the beats used in Mortimer & Whitehouse Gone Fishing click here ...

Quiz

The normal random collection of questions inspired by the date, events or topics in the Newsletter. It is just for fun with answers at the bottom of the page.

1) Hickory belongs to which family of trees? a) Ash b) Oak c) Walnut

2) What wood is commonly used for lolly sticks?

3) If you had dendrophobia, what would you be scared of?