TV’s Dirty Business gives the EA a deserved kicking

 

Greetings!   I have yet to watch Channel 4’s Dirty Business which is loosely based on the real-life Oxfordshire campaign group Windrush Against Sewage Pollution (WASP) who for over a decade, have done so much to expose the egregious failings of the regulatory bodies, primarily the Environment Agency (EA), who are meant to be monitoring and protecting the health of our rivers.   From what I have read of the three part series the EA get a real kicking and deservedly so; for those of you who have been following this column for some years you will know I only hold Ofwat and successive governments in greater contempt for all that is bad about the state of our rivers, waterways and coastline.      David Thewlis & Jason Watkins who play Ash Smith & Peter Hammond of WASP

 

The EA are just terminally hopeless; let me give you an example that popped into my inbox on Monday. As you will know the EA are responsible for administering the General fishing licence, the annual ‘tax’ levied at all anglers. At Fishing Breaks we generally rely on everyone to buy their own licence but as a back up we buy a block licence direct from the EA. This is something we have done for literally decades and something you would think the EA would welcome as responsible and revenue earning. Think again. This is the email response to our annual block licence application of last week which I quote verbatim,   “The amount of time and resource we’re able to allocate to this kind of work is now very limited. Due to resourcing issues, we currently have a reduced capacity to carry out work on our manually issued General fishing licences and may not be able to process an application for several weeks.”   So here am I trying to do the right thing, making sure the uninitiated are valid licence holders whilst pushing hundreds of pounds in a single transaction into the hot little hands of the EA and what do they say? We will get back to you and by the way, you are being a right pain in the a**e. And I know from past years that when the EA say ‘several weeks’ they really mean ‘several months’, if at all.   There is something deeply, deeply flawed about the EA the reasons for which I have never been able to fully divine. Take for instance us here on the Test and Itchen arguably two of the most famous rivers in the world. You would think that the EA would be all over us as custodian, police officer and cheerleader. But no. Two years ago our local EA officer Morag Stirling sadly died whilst in service and is yet to be replaced - the latter of which nobody seems to know or more concernedly, care about.

 

 

Is there such a thing as the rural economy?   I have been reading a great deal recently about the woes on the rural economy from the existential crisis of the village pub to the plight farmers who will have to pay inheritance tax at half the rate of normal folk and wondering, how does all this apply to me?   Afterall, you cannot get much more rural than chalkstreams but few of the things that might buffet my business are uniquely rural. Whenever I fall into conversation with other small business owners, regardless of sector or location, our list of woes are near identical. Of course, from time to time, I will have some localised issues but for the most part, wars in far distant countries, the machinations of the UK economy and the ever-increasing cost of doing business affects me just as it does a corner shop owner in a city hundreds of miles away.     Swill basket maker Owen Jones at his workshop in Cumbria. Richard Cannon/©Country Life Picture Library   Think about it. You live on an almost self-sufficient smallholding with chickens, selling the eggs from a stall at your roadside gate. How do you price your eggs? Do you meticulously work out your costs of labour, food and housing plus a profit to arrive at a cost per dozen? Well, you probably should do that but in all probability you will pop down to your local Waitrose to check out the market price, then price your eggs accordingly.    Of course, if you sell at your meticulously worked out price, by disregarding what the market is telling you, you may be in for a nasty shock. If, by chance, your price and that of Waitrose are aligned, happy days. If, however, you are way more expensive, sales will be slow to non-existent as it is unlikely your egg buyers are unaware of the market price. If, on the other hand, you are way below market price you will sell out quickly. Soon you will ask yourself, or more likely your customers, why?? Then, as your production is likely finite, you will adjust your prices upwards.   The fact is that whether you sell eggs, beer or fishing, the concept of the rural economy as separate and distinct to the economy as a whole, is something of a fiction. Rural business owners may be defined by location but in reality we all march to the same macro and micro economic tunes as every other business; be it a widget maker in Wolverhampton or a basket weaver in Cumbria.

 

 

Vote trout for the tenner!   The EU style UK red passport was not to everybody’s liking but I recall it fondly as the pages featured illustrations of brown trout and salmon. Sadly, when the new blue post-Brexit passport was issued our fish had vanished to be replaced with some rather weird, circular hieroglyphic. However, it seems the Bank of England are not dead to the concept of British wildlife as a part of officialdom with the proposal to replace Churchill, Austen et al with animal illustrations.   Apparently (who knew), the Bank conducted a survey last year with Nature selected by 60% of respondents as one of their preferred themes just ahead of Architecture and Landmarks at 56%. With Notable Historical Figures at just 38% you can see why the Bank of England have grabbed at this survey to ditch all the culture war implications of picking a human.     The £5 note 'reimagined'   Now it is apparently down to us this summer to pick the wildlife to feature on our banknotes though, of course, that is not how it will work as the British public will be given a carefully curated list of choices chosen by a panel selected by the Bank. Honestly, I have never heard of any of the six members on the panel which includes someone who is, ‘a television presenter, author and cultural strategist working at the intersection of nature and identity.’ OK, I have absolutely no idea what all that means but he is sure to vote beaver.   Regardless of all that I am pinning my hopes on Steve Ormerod (actually I think I have heard of him), a professor in the School of Biosciences at Cardiff University who specialises in freshwater ecology, to ensure a river fish makes it onto the list and, with my mammal hat on, that otters get a look in. Who knows... if the Bank put Salmo trutta on the current £10 note and stay with the same colour scheme the new banknote might pass into the realm of slang to be known as a brownie!     I think a trout might smile more!     Think Like a Fish   It is not often fishing gets a look in at a literary festival but I am pleased to say Jeremy Wade, he of TV River Monsters fame and our cover girl Marina Gibson (it is her on the header of the Fishing Breaks website) are hosting a talk about fishing, rivers, and the natural world at the Winchester Books Festival next month.   Marina talks about her memoir Cast, Catch, Release and Jeremy, best known as the TV fishing adventurer and author How to Think Like a Fish, brings thrilling angling tales from around the globe, alongside insights into the behaviour of the world’s most extraordinary fish.   The event takes place on Saturday 18 April, 1:30pm - 2:30pm, at The Guildhall in Winchester. For details and tickets click here ….. and look out for my new book Tales from The Mill too!

 

 

Quiz   The usual random collection of questions this week inspired by the date and the Newsletter topics.   1)      Who did guitarist Jeff Beck replace on this day in 1965?   2)      Who wrote the book Rural Rides published in1830?   3)      Place these people to the value of the banknote on which they are featured: Jane Austen, Winston Churchill, Alan Turing and JMW Turner.   The answers are below.

 

Have a good weekend even if you happen to be travelling to Paris to watch England!  Best wishes,

 

Check & book dates here

 

Simon Cooper simon@fishingbreaks.co.uk Founder & Managing Directorwww.fishingbreaks.co.uk

 

 

1)      Eric Clapton when he quit the Yardbirds due to the band moving away from traditional blues. 2)      William Cobbett 3)      Winston Churchill (£5), Jane Austen (£10), JMW Turner (£20) and Alan Turing (£50).

J.M.W Turner: the painter who preferred to fish

 

Greetings!   It was the snow that drove me into the arms of Tate Britain, the warmth of the John Constable & J.M.W Turner Exhibition enough of a tempting embrace from the chill of January on the Thames Embankment.   It is a full fifty years, on the 200th anniversary of his birth, since I last stood in the Tate, gazing at John Constable’s Hay Wain. What struck me then, and struck me again on that chilly day, was the huge size of the canvas. I am sure Constable would not appreciate the comparison but in the flesh the painting is a bit like one of those Where’s Wally pictures – the more you look, the more you see. A few specks of oil paint still expressing all you need to know, two and a half centuries after they were applied. I know, in a way, Constable is a little bit out of fashion, his depictions an idealisation of a bucolic way of life that was, in reality, harsh and brutal. But sometimes the victory of art is to separate us from reality.     John Constable - The Hay Wain

 

Moving through the rooms of the Tate I came across something I did not expect to see – a glass case containing a fishing rod (sic) that belonged to J.M.W Turner. Apparently, Turner was a keen fisherman and took his outfit on his painting trips. Rather eccentrically, the Tate commentary, expanded on this stating that he had an umbrella that turned into a fishing rod, though presumably not the one in the cabinet. This I had never heard of, so I interrogated the internet thoroughly for such a device, but none seemed to exist.   Giving up on AI I decided to call the human equivalent, Neil Freeman, the all-knowing auctioneer of all things angling. Neil was equally baffled having never seen or heard of such a device. We concluded that Turner probably had an umbrella under which he sheltered when fishing, and possibly painting, but some well-intentioned gallerist put two and two together and made five. That said I do rather wonder about the ‘rod’ in the case. My first impression was that it was two rods, a heavy-duty spinning style rod and a lighter fly rod. But maybe that is just wishful thinking that Turner may have been an early adopter of our noble art and the pale sections simply spare tips.

 

Turner's fishing rod & reel   I equally interrogated internet further to discover more about Turner’s fishing habits, and he was indeed a keen fisherman; indeed, possibly obsessive apparently carrying a copy of The Compleat Angler wherever he went, his fishing gear inseparable from his painting accoutrements. Indeed, one of his clients, complained that Turner spent too much time fishing the landscape he had been paid to paint which seems to be almost certainly true because the narratives of his fishing and painting lives are intertwined as he sought commissions around the British Isles, helpfully combining the two. In addition, nearly all his many homes from birth to death were close to the River Thames, in those pre-Industrial Revolution times, still a productive river for salmon, trout, pike, perch and most other native species. When he built a home at Sandycombe Lodge in Twickenham he was within a short walk of the river, digging a large pond in the garden into which he put his catches.   During their lives Constable and Turner were great rivals, competing for public attention and acclaim. In that I have mostly been in the Constable camp but now, knowing what I know, maybe I am edging towards Turner.

 

J.M.W Turner - Two Tench, a Perch and a Trout

 

 

Tales from The Mill at The Mill - September date added!   We have now sold out all three dates for the June book events here at The Mill; thank you so much for your support, it means a lot. Moreover, I am delighted to announce an additional event on Friday, September 11.     The event on Friday, September 11 runs from 11 - 2pm and tickets cost £25 which includes:  ·     A special signed copy of Tales from The Mill ·     The rare opportunity to tour parts of the historic mill and surrounding water meadows ·     Chance to feed the fish ·     Book readings and Q&As ·     A glass of English sparkling and a light lunch served by the water   Whether you’ve heard about the Mill, fished its pristine waters, or are discovering it for the very first time, come and enjoy the many tales to be told!   Places are limited so book early to avoid disappointment.   BOOK NOW!

 

Meanwhile, it's been all go back at Fishing Breaks HQ, with lots of early book orders landing on our desks. Thank you very much! We have just sent out our first batch of signed copies and you can still pre-order your early discounted copy of Tales from The Mill via the Fishing Breaks website.   Alternatively, you can also pre-order a book via Amazon and Waterstones, which will arrive with you by the 19th March.

 

Order from Fishing Breaks

Order from Amazon

Order from Waterstones

 

 

Tales from The Mill on Kindle   Do you remember when the printed book was about to become obsolete? Kindle was king and every person on a holiday sun lounger shaded themselves behind an electronic book reader. Fast forward a decade and ‘real’ books are back with a vengeance.   I have read numerous theories as to why this is so and why the existential threat to the printing press fizzled out. My personal theory is that in the past decade electronic devices have become the tools of work and the expediters for the chores of life. So, when we want to switch off and escape into the pages of a book, we do that better, and derive more pleasure, when it is something other than an electronic device. Take a bow Caxton.   All that said one book in five is sold in electronic format (Kindle etc.), so I am pleased to say that Tales from The Mill is now available as an e-book on Amazon and similar platforms. I will also be disappearing into a sound studio in London sometime in April for two days to record the audio version which generally, just by way of note, account for a growing 4% of sales.   Order from Amazon Kindle     Muzzling the hunters   I have no great skin in the game of the trail hunting debate. Hunting, of the fox variety, was never a personal passion of mine growing up in the countryside but it always seemed to me one of the more unnecessary things to ban in the pursuit of the rights of animals.    Our careless stewardship of rural Britain through urbanisation, poisons and pollutants has wrought more destruction on our wildlife than a million packs of hounds would do if hunted for a million years. My view, as with most things to do with game sports, is that if you can square the pursuit, and possible death of your quarry, with your conscience then you should be free to make that choice. The difficulty with the trail hunting issue is that there is too much of the Eric Idle ‘nudge, nudge, wink, wink’ about it as hounds divert, accidently or otherwise, from the scent laid by man in pursuit of live quarry. Which got me thinking of my time involved with greyhound racing.   For the most part greyhounds are the most docile and dopey of dogs but when in pursuit of a hare, even of the mechanical kind, they become something altogether different. Hence the fact they always race in muzzles to stop them both attacking each other (they can even be disqualified for taking ‘a look’ at another greyhound mid-race) and to preserve the stuffed toy that is the hare when it comes to a halt at the end of the race.    Which also got me thinking: why do we not compromise with a requirement to muzzle trail hounds? That way nobody dies, and the hunt goes blamelessly on.       Dunbridge is back!   With spring just around the corner, we are all eagerly waiting for trout season to begin. Furthermore, I am thrilled to share the news that Dunbridge is back for bookings over the unmissable Mayfly period.   Tucked away on the pretty River Dun, this little chalkstream paradise offers great fishing for one to two rods, with a nice variety of deep pools, fast riffles and shaded cover. If you're mad about wild brownies and an evening rise, this one is definitely for you.   The quaint fishing cabin at the top of the beat has water, a gas stove, tea and coffee, cutlery, crockery and seating, making it the perfect fishing day out. Days are limited, so book your trip quickly via the Fishing Breaks website, or call Lucy or Sarah on 01264 781988.     Dunbridge: A chalkstream heaven     A History of Fly Fishing in 50 Innovations. No. 5: Stocking   I am indebted to Chris Green, a regular though often blunt corresponder to this Newsletter, for his proposition that stocking deserves a place in the History of Fly Fishing in 50 Innovations.   I must admit that this was not an Innovation that I, or anyone else for that matter had proposed but once you begin to think it through it makes perfect sense. New Zealand would have no trout. Nor would the entire continent of South America. The brown trout, or German brown with a nod to its origin, would never have populated North American streams without stocking. I could name dozens of nations who benefited from the export of trout from Britain and elsewhere but lets randomly think of Afghanistan, Lebanon, Nepal, Turkey and South Africa.

 

South Africa's Transvaal river

 

It most cases this was an endeavour of the visionary Victorian era which harnessed the speed of tea clippers. Trout eggs, when packed in ice, will survive roughly 100 days which is about the time a tea clipper takes to reach the Antipodes. Of course, it begs the question, why did anyone bother? Did anyone, ever, thousands of miles from home, think, ‘Oh, this Nepalese river, in the foothills of the Himalayas would be so much better if it had some trout. Let’s move heaven and earth to get some here.’   Of course not. The South African settlers found streams that reminded them of their Scottish homeland so why not make a fly fishing home from home? Loch Leven brown trout were transplanted to the Transvaal. It was the thought of being able to fly fish that spurred the endeavour and in so doing fly fishing was exported, along with the trout, to just about every corner of the globe.   The more I think about it the more I think stocking may just make the Innovation Top Ten. What do you think?

 

Your nominations so far, in no particular order. New additions in blue. Do keep them coming! simon@fishingbreaks.co.uk

 

People F M Halford Ernest Hemingway Lefty Kreh George Selwyn Marryat Frank Sawyer GEM Skues Izaak Walton Lee Wulff Dame Juliana Berners Francis Francis Clarke & Goddard Charles Ritz Richard Walker Bob Church  Francis Maximilian Walbran Colonel Robert Venables  Literature Stillwater Fly Fishing by TC Ivens (1952) Fly Fisher's Entomology Ronalds(1836) Harfield Edmonds  Norman Lee Arthur Ransome A Summer on The Test - JW Hills Nymph Fishing in Practice - Oliver Kite Mr Crabtree Goes Fishing - Bernard Venables

Gear Eyed hooks Floatant Fly lines Fly rods Forceps Greased line Nets Polarized sunglasses Reels Rods & rod rings Tippet material & X rating for diameter Tippet ring Weighing scales Waders   Flies Floating flies Wet flies & lures Saltwater flies Emergers   General Stocking of fish Internet Cheap air travel

 

 

Quiz   The usual random collection of questions this week inspired by the date and the Newsletter topics.   1) What was first played at Lord's Cricket Ground on this day is 1874?   2) When was fox hunting banned in England & Wales?   3) Who painted Salisbury Cathedral from the Bishop's Grounds which features the River Avon? Constable or Turner?   The answers are below.

 

Have a good weekend.  Best wishes,

 

Check & book dates here

 

Simon Cooper simon@fishingbreaks.co.uk Founder & Managing Directorwww.fishingbreaks.co.uk

 

 

1) Baseball 2) 2005 3) John Constable