TV’s Dirty Business gives the EA a deserved kicking

 

Greetings!   I have yet to watch Channel 4’s Dirty Business which is loosely based on the real-life Oxfordshire campaign group Windrush Against Sewage Pollution (WASP) who for over a decade, have done so much to expose the egregious failings of the regulatory bodies, primarily the Environment Agency (EA), who are meant to be monitoring and protecting the health of our rivers.   From what I have read of the three part series the EA get a real kicking and deservedly so; for those of you who have been following this column for some years you will know I only hold Ofwat and successive governments in greater contempt for all that is bad about the state of our rivers, waterways and coastline.      David Thewlis & Jason Watkins who play Ash Smith & Peter Hammond of WASP

 

The EA are just terminally hopeless; let me give you an example that popped into my inbox on Monday. As you will know the EA are responsible for administering the General fishing licence, the annual ‘tax’ levied at all anglers. At Fishing Breaks we generally rely on everyone to buy their own licence but as a back up we buy a block licence direct from the EA. This is something we have done for literally decades and something you would think the EA would welcome as responsible and revenue earning. Think again. This is the email response to our annual block licence application of last week which I quote verbatim,   “The amount of time and resource we’re able to allocate to this kind of work is now very limited. Due to resourcing issues, we currently have a reduced capacity to carry out work on our manually issued General fishing licences and may not be able to process an application for several weeks.”   So here am I trying to do the right thing, making sure the uninitiated are valid licence holders whilst pushing hundreds of pounds in a single transaction into the hot little hands of the EA and what do they say? We will get back to you and by the way, you are being a right pain in the a**e. And I know from past years that when the EA say ‘several weeks’ they really mean ‘several months’, if at all.   There is something deeply, deeply flawed about the EA the reasons for which I have never been able to fully divine. Take for instance us here on the Test and Itchen arguably two of the most famous rivers in the world. You would think that the EA would be all over us as custodian, police officer and cheerleader. But no. Two years ago our local EA officer Morag Stirling sadly died whilst in service and is yet to be replaced - the latter of which nobody seems to know or more concernedly, care about.

 

 

Is there such a thing as the rural economy?   I have been reading a great deal recently about the woes on the rural economy from the existential crisis of the village pub to the plight farmers who will have to pay inheritance tax at half the rate of normal folk and wondering, how does all this apply to me?   Afterall, you cannot get much more rural than chalkstreams but few of the things that might buffet my business are uniquely rural. Whenever I fall into conversation with other small business owners, regardless of sector or location, our list of woes are near identical. Of course, from time to time, I will have some localised issues but for the most part, wars in far distant countries, the machinations of the UK economy and the ever-increasing cost of doing business affects me just as it does a corner shop owner in a city hundreds of miles away.     Swill basket maker Owen Jones at his workshop in Cumbria. Richard Cannon/©Country Life Picture Library   Think about it. You live on an almost self-sufficient smallholding with chickens, selling the eggs from a stall at your roadside gate. How do you price your eggs? Do you meticulously work out your costs of labour, food and housing plus a profit to arrive at a cost per dozen? Well, you probably should do that but in all probability you will pop down to your local Waitrose to check out the market price, then price your eggs accordingly.    Of course, if you sell at your meticulously worked out price, by disregarding what the market is telling you, you may be in for a nasty shock. If, by chance, your price and that of Waitrose are aligned, happy days. If, however, you are way more expensive, sales will be slow to non-existent as it is unlikely your egg buyers are unaware of the market price. If, on the other hand, you are way below market price you will sell out quickly. Soon you will ask yourself, or more likely your customers, why?? Then, as your production is likely finite, you will adjust your prices upwards.   The fact is that whether you sell eggs, beer or fishing, the concept of the rural economy as separate and distinct to the economy as a whole, is something of a fiction. Rural business owners may be defined by location but in reality we all march to the same macro and micro economic tunes as every other business; be it a widget maker in Wolverhampton or a basket weaver in Cumbria.

 

 

Vote trout for the tenner!   The EU style UK red passport was not to everybody’s liking but I recall it fondly as the pages featured illustrations of brown trout and salmon. Sadly, when the new blue post-Brexit passport was issued our fish had vanished to be replaced with some rather weird, circular hieroglyphic. However, it seems the Bank of England are not dead to the concept of British wildlife as a part of officialdom with the proposal to replace Churchill, Austen et al with animal illustrations.   Apparently (who knew), the Bank conducted a survey last year with Nature selected by 60% of respondents as one of their preferred themes just ahead of Architecture and Landmarks at 56%. With Notable Historical Figures at just 38% you can see why the Bank of England have grabbed at this survey to ditch all the culture war implications of picking a human.     The £5 note 'reimagined'   Now it is apparently down to us this summer to pick the wildlife to feature on our banknotes though, of course, that is not how it will work as the British public will be given a carefully curated list of choices chosen by a panel selected by the Bank. Honestly, I have never heard of any of the six members on the panel which includes someone who is, ‘a television presenter, author and cultural strategist working at the intersection of nature and identity.’ OK, I have absolutely no idea what all that means but he is sure to vote beaver.   Regardless of all that I am pinning my hopes on Steve Ormerod (actually I think I have heard of him), a professor in the School of Biosciences at Cardiff University who specialises in freshwater ecology, to ensure a river fish makes it onto the list and, with my mammal hat on, that otters get a look in. Who knows... if the Bank put Salmo trutta on the current £10 note and stay with the same colour scheme the new banknote might pass into the realm of slang to be known as a brownie!     I think a trout might smile more!     Think Like a Fish   It is not often fishing gets a look in at a literary festival but I am pleased to say Jeremy Wade, he of TV River Monsters fame and our cover girl Marina Gibson (it is her on the header of the Fishing Breaks website) are hosting a talk about fishing, rivers, and the natural world at the Winchester Books Festival next month.   Marina talks about her memoir Cast, Catch, Release and Jeremy, best known as the TV fishing adventurer and author How to Think Like a Fish, brings thrilling angling tales from around the globe, alongside insights into the behaviour of the world’s most extraordinary fish.   The event takes place on Saturday 18 April, 1:30pm - 2:30pm, at The Guildhall in Winchester. For details and tickets click here ….. and look out for my new book Tales from The Mill too!

 

 

Quiz   The usual random collection of questions this week inspired by the date and the Newsletter topics.   1)      Who did guitarist Jeff Beck replace on this day in 1965?   2)      Who wrote the book Rural Rides published in1830?   3)      Place these people to the value of the banknote on which they are featured: Jane Austen, Winston Churchill, Alan Turing and JMW Turner.   The answers are below.

 

Have a good weekend even if you happen to be travelling to Paris to watch England!  Best wishes,

 

Check & book dates here

 

Simon Cooper simon@fishingbreaks.co.uk Founder & Managing Directorwww.fishingbreaks.co.uk

 

 

1)      Eric Clapton when he quit the Yardbirds due to the band moving away from traditional blues. 2)      William Cobbett 3)      Winston Churchill (£5), Jane Austen (£10), JMW Turner (£20) and Alan Turing (£50).